Move through new patterns
“Life story en Patterns”
It’s Friday today. Just like yesterday, I wake up at exactly the same time. Coincidence? No, it is certainly not.
Rhythm, routine and old patterns. Day in and day out, after years of practising, they have sneaked into my system. In itself not bad, some habits can help you on your way. For example breakfasts every morning, a good and healthy habit. What I am afraid of is how the rest of my habits determine the classification of my day. This is my story fed up with old patterns. My diary is full of it.
Is This what I want? And even more importantly, do they still serve me as they have done for years? Do these habits, or old patterns, give me the desired end result I need now?
Where do all these questions come from? Maybe it’s time for another step. To continue to grow it is important to observe my old patterns. It’s time to take a look at them from my kaleidoscope-view. As loose pieces of the puzzle side by side, without the emotional connection. That emotional piece is for another chapter.
Well, that became clear to me! Even now, when writing down and literally naming my old patterns, I feel that resistance is coming up. In my head, the well-known discussion arises whether this is really necessary. It’s going well now, why change? It feels good and comfortable to stay in my comfort zone. Even if certain habits do not support me anymore. Because that is also familiar, you know what is waiting for you. You prepare yourself again for the problems that come with it. Ready to solve them.
Time for Change! But how? Choices, it’s time for making other choices. After years of pleasing people around me, I now know that this was the perfect way to not take myself seriously. Searching for something outside of myself. Help others, checked. So I was the one who kept the strings in my hands.
Does this make sense? No, it is a temporary solution. I realise that now.
What can I do to change this behaviour? To let go of control by first helping myself. For example, by looking at what I like to do.
It sounds easy, and you know, it’s easy! Through realizing that I have this choice, the first step is taken. Naming the subconscious is a choice of consciousness. Now it is important to continue this conscious step. That this new habit, a new pattern is going to stay in my life.
Start with something small.
- Example old pattern: When I’m feeling restless, my old reaction to seek contact with someone around me. Who can I help (control), ask what I can (had to) do. The other one not giving space to help me, because I had to do this alone.
- Convert to New pattern: I’m feeling restless. With this restless feeling not to go to the other person. To stand still having this thought. I accept the turmoil and ask myself what I like to do now. Consciously embracing my thought that comes from my head. I love to have a cup of tea together with a good book (I hadn’t been giving myself the time to read a book for months).
And so it happened that I could break through this old pattern. Instead of wanting to do something for someone else, I choose for myself now.
Through this way, step by step, I am now aware of my old patterns. I give myself the freedom to make other choices. The choice to take care of myself first and then for the other person. Is this selfish? First I had this thought. No, absolutely not! You cannot take care of the other if you do not take good care of yourself.
“Standing close to yourself, your base, your next step becomes clear.”
“Standing close to yourself, your base, your next step becomes clear. ”
This post is also available in: Dutch